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sinigangnahippie
luzel andrea
Manila, Batangas, Philippines

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    August 31, 2006

    monster


    sinigangnahippie
    anyways, monster or ter-ter as i lovingly call it is a black terrier. it's so small, barely 2 months old. she is such a baby, she couldn't even walk straight and she sleeps all the time. haha. and she eats like a real monster too.. ^.^ [which reminds me of someone.. hehe]

    i love monster. and i'm really, really really grateful lucky gave her to me. he really knows how and when to make me happy. i just hope i'm doing a great job being his girl. i hope i am making him really happy too though sometimes i'm really hard headed, sometimes to a point that we have to have an argument first before i finally succumb to what he wants me to do. i'm just a tough ass sometimes [and i know,wala na sa lugar.. sorry sorry] but inspite everything, i try to "bawi" naman for my shortcomings. and i just want lucky to know that i love him and i am trying my very best to be a goodgirl ^.^

    i just hope he knows that i am proud of him, of what he does in law school, and that i trust him and that i love him soooo much. he tries to give me everything that will make me happy. just recently, i posted here of how bored and unhappy i am in my current job, but now i just can't think of the inconveniences i had been dealing with when i think about monster. it's funny but i couldn't help but smile when i think about her and the person who gave her to me. i love them both and i wouldn't trade them for anything else in this world.
    Posted by sinigangnahippie on August 31, 2006 at 01:13 PM | Add a Comment
    August 31, 2006

    clicked: part 2


    sinigangnahippie
    so here is how it went. i was really eyeing on this pretty top [the one in naf naf, but it's kind of lacy in the upper part, but i'm sure as hell, it would not reveal anything in my upper torso] or so for me, that is how i see it. i really like to have it but lucky doesn't like this idea of mine. he told it to me pretty straight that he doesn't like it on me because it was revealing.. blah blah. [but i think it IS not. o hirit pa. hehe] so i went on with my pangngulit [i don't seem like i have to give it up] and then finally it snapped. like a bottle of cold coke above me. an argument was born right in front of my eyes. I JUST DID IT AGAIN. and it felt awfully bad to know it was me, it was this bad ME who ruined a nice night we had a while a go. and so to save what has to be saved, i started apologizing and tried to bring the happy us back.

     

    but then i again, some good things are about to end, like this one [and it was because of me]. i couldn't pull it back. he went ballistic and hurt. i went irritated and hurt too.

     

    he told me that i am being a brat again. that i do not respect his feelings anymore. that all that matters now are the things that i like, and never even once, his. there were verbal fireworks inside the car, in that friggin' stupid parking lot. o i just wish, for that moment, i had michael's universal remote control. sniff.

     

    and what did i do? i cried. the only thing i always do when things like these happens. the only thing i know i have to do after saying sorry. and after that nothing. i am not capable of saying things that i feel anymore. like i want to keep it to my self. i really had a bad headache and i just wish everything especially me disappear right there and then. am i controlling everything that's happening in our relationship? am i that bossy? am i that selfish already?

     

    it felt really bad, you know. in just a click a happy story ended horribly. and the world could blame it all on me.

     

    uzel-zel

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    Posted by sinigangnahippie on August 31, 2006 at 01:04 PM | Add a Comment
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